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(just like sister ray said)
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| This reads like I'm in a bad mood, but I'm not. |
[10 Jan 2007|05:55pm] |
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david bowie |
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One thing that I love very much is playing the guitar and singing along. If I'm ever lonely or sad or bored, that cures me. Sadly, I've always had this terrible relationship with my music because I'm not a very good musician and I'm so embarrassed and annoyed about it, and sometimes I go months and months without touching my instruments. It doesn't matter. Today it felt really nice to sit down and play for a while.
Another thing: I like my family a lot. I have always chosen them over friends. This sounds mean, but, hey. They raised me. They love me more than anyone. And when I'm with them I can relax. I can be with them and knit at the same time. Or read. At school I have another family that's composed of really close friends who I feel comfortable with and who love me unconditionally like family. I miss them like family, but I will miss the original family too in a week.
Evan is in Portland these days, romping around with folks and calling me. Though it's a lot of fun, I feel old when I hang out with them. I'm not sure why.
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[24 May 2006|01:06pm] |
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i can't go to alternative prom.
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[24 Oct 2005|03:40pm] |
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my ma came to visit on thursday and stayed until sunday morning. i ate at lots of good restaurants instead of the food zoo for every meal. we got our hair cut together. it was wonderful. she is nice lady.
i had real maple syrup for the first time, actually, yesterday. adam's parents sent some to him and he is greedy about it but he let me have a few little sips. it is tasty.
i need to do some serious studying.
i've discovered that there is no better music to study to than they might be giants. apparently, though, based on the comment she just made, erin hates it.
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[23 Sep 2005|05:24pm] |
LJ Interests meme results
- bgaafc:
the big gay art and film club!!!! what else can i say? my senior year of high school, variations, gsa, film club, and swa were all composed of the same basic group of friends, and we called ourselves the bgaafc. - cows:
cows! i love them. the animals, of course. they have beautifully expressive eyes (if you get close enough to see them). my parents used to have cows when i was little and i just remembering thinking they were pretty. plus, i feel bad for them because everybody eats them/ says they're stupid and fat and boring. so i feel like i have to be their defender. - films:
films. everybody loves films. they can change the world, be beautiful or meaningful or artsy, or they can just be entertaining. they always cheer me up, even if they are depressing. - hd:
hd=hilda doolittle, a wonderful poet from the thirties. she has amazing amazing amazing imagery and symbols. read "the helmsman" or her novel "paint it today" - jung:
jung, the guy with all theroies about collective unconscious and archetypes, which are incredible. the way i prefer to look at the human psyche because it lends some magic and mystery to the science; also, explains a lot if you're interested in cultural anthropology. - neitzsche:
ahhhhh great philosopher. great ideas. i myself am sort of a stoic solipsist and don't necessarily agree with neitzche's ideas about religion but i still think he was brilliant. sort of the way i feel about plato. - painting:
love/hate relationship. i've painted in the past and made some beatiful art but i'm constantly fighting with paining. it i'm inspired to paint, i'll usually just write something with lots of imagery. i love to admire other paintings though. "return of the prodigal son" by il guarcino is probably my favorite, besides "girl in the woods" by van gough. - rose tea:
rose tea USED to be my favortie kind of tea because it tasted like ROSES. it's still wonderful but now i have turkish delight to taste like roses and i tried a new kind of tea called "purple mountains' magesty" and it tastes like PURPLE. it really does. - the black keys:
the black keys = a "tasty" band from detroit (i think) that sounds kind of like the white stripes but much much better---with better guitar, and a dirtier and bluesier sound - yeats:
my lovely poet yeats...wb yeats. has wonderful irish poetry with lots of cultural details and images that tell (usually) sad sad stories.
Enter your LJ user name, and 10 interests will be selected from your interest list.
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[17 Sep 2005|11:32am] |
oh shit shit shit
my tummy hurts so much
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[13 Sep 2005|11:44pm] |
1. on saturday, erin and i went to a jolly hippie-fair called hemp fest and bought earrings. then we went to an eighties dance where we dressed up like motherfuckers and erin became inaftuated with a very good-looking and very erin-style boy who was apparently very "into" erin, which he made clear by coming up behind her and humping her several times.
2. yesterday i went to becky's house for lunch. she made me a sandwich and showed me her vast rock collection and the assortment of pipes. later, erin and i went to a lambda meeting (after seeing pete's wonderful baby impersonation at dinner) where we played a cross between 10 fingers and musical chairs. it was incredibly fun! (followed by a trek dowtown with some hicks--icky, but we're learning how to avoid them)
3. today i ate lunch with koreans and they talked about how i look too young. THEN erin and i bought tickets to a built-to-spill concert in oct and began walking when i heard a voice call my name! and, oho! it was a woodsy woodsman #2!!! (aka adam) he had just finished "escorting" some deer to safety by following them on roller blades as they ran across campus. we invited him on our walk and he skated along. he's a forestry major. kindra certainly felt pretty shy and stupid but, according to erin, she managed. erin thinks he's too stinky (yes, he does have a little BO but i really don't mind at all...let's remember that the last boy kindra obsessed over for five years has crooked green teeth...*sighs* but somehow, i LIKED those teeth) but even if i disliked the smell, he would be worth it. he's really really nice and has very pretty eyes. and is so WOODSY. i wonder if he can play the musical saw. if not, somebody should teach him. or not. he's good enough as he is, saw-playing or not, stinky or not.
goodbye!
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[09 Sep 2005|05:00pm] |
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engine-nmh |
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......with sherlock holmes
he is another woodsman!
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[07 Sep 2005|01:00pm] |
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sooo i'm finally beginning to be a little less shy. erin and i are sort of notorious on our floor for being, er, quirky and loveable. everybody on our floor really loves us and i always hear people talking about us in the hall. which is great. most of the girls are preppy and dull but nice. (kindra is a bitch!!! but it's true, montana is rather bleak. there are barely any really cool and interesting people but there are some and i'm not that social anyway.) there is one girl next door named katie who is awesome. she's from seattle and we ordered turkish delight online together so we can drill a hole between our closets and eat it because it tastes like roses. she hates missoula and is transferring. in fact, there are many many people who are. but, while she's here, we are friends and we have lots of dance parties and we smoke a lot together and we are checking out about 50 possible clubs and organizations. there are some interesting boys we've spent a lot of time with. one is fat and poops a lot. really. the other weighs 100 lbs and is 6'2 and he's from a small town called geraldine. i don't like them but they dilligently call us. but yesterday i introduced myself to adam, a hippie boy with very pretty eyes and strange facial hair from vermont who plays alto sax on the streets for money. i think i talked him into joining concert band, which sucks, but it makes me feel like charlie parker or something because i am the only freshman tenor and am by far better than all the other tenors in cb. and i tried out for jazz and got into the worst band, which made me sad until erin told me that one of her friends who is a music major and plays sax didn't get in at all. hey, it's okay if i'm not the BEST, because at least i'm just an anthro major. hahahahaha. and today i met a girl in one of my anthro classes who looks a LOT like Leah, dreads, dread beads, and all, and her name is becky and she's a physical therapy major. that's all for now. must go eat at food zoo...which is SO DELICIOUS (lies) before class in 40 mins. will tell more later.
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[03 Sep 2005|08:47pm] |
those of you who love the decemberists will be proud to hear that erin and i located the orange street food farm today. those of you who don't love the decemberists should, because they're amazing. they have a song called "apology song" about accidentally getting a friend's bicycle stolen. and where does the bicycle get stolen? OUTSIDE THE ORANGE STREET FOOD FARM. which we found today. we got really excited and decided we would have to go inside and buy something. it was a normal slightly seedy supermarket and nobody inside seemed aware of its significance. we collected some mac and cheese, nutella, and graham crackers, then bumped into some guys we saw at a party last night. these guys had been fans of modest mouse, so when we bumped into them, i asked if they were familiar with the decemberists and they said yes!!! they had gone to high school with colin meloy's (the lead singer's) little sister. we explained that the orange street food farm was the setting of one of their songs, and they asked if that was the only reason we were shopping there. we had to admit that it was................it felt surreal.
i'm really sorry, steven
that your bicycle's been stolen
i was watching it for you until you came back in the fall
guess i didn't do such a good job afterall
i've been feeling really sorry, steven
and i spent all morning grieving
everybody's saying that you'll take the news gracefully
somehow i don't think i'll be getting off that easily
i meant her no harm
when i left her unlocked outside the orange street food farm
i was just running in
didn't think i'd be that long
i came out, she was gone,
and all that was there was some bored old dog
leashed up to the place where your bicycle had been
i guess we'll never see poor madeline again
let this be consolation, steven,
that all the while you were in england
i treated her with care and respect
and gave her lots of love
and i was usually pretty good about locking her up
where has she gone?
well, i bet she at the bottom of a french town pond
rudely abused
on some hesher's joyride
so i wrote you this song
in the hopes that you'd forgive me even though it was wrong
being so careless with a thing so great
and taking your poor madeline away
--french town pond state park, by the way, is just outside missoula. i visited it on my way here--
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[02 Sep 2005|09:47pm] |
erin and i almost got murdered. stabbed.
a man with no shirt and camo pants and a backpack and some portable speakers playing nirvana really loud came into the oval yelling about having a knife fight with the devil and shook a knife at us and yelled something and then approached a boy next to us, got really close, jabbed the knife at his chest (just a few inches away)and then continued walking through campus. i called 911 and several campus cops immediately sped by and ran at him with guns and arrested him. then they questioned me and the boy (levi). it was really really scary. this was about half an hour ago. apparently, they've had problems with this guy on campus before, but he's never before had a weapon.
soooo...
first friday night as a college kid...so, er, party time.
heh.
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[31 Aug 2005|04:30pm] |
help me.
i am shy.
how do you make friends?
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[30 Aug 2005|02:20pm] |
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Aha!
I found a picture of my advisor. Stephen Greymorning.
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[30 Aug 2005|01:48pm] |
so, i guess i can't take stat anymore because i haven't been able to get my override yet and it's already full.
and, i proabaly can't take ways of knowing this semester either. which leaves me with 12 credits...barely a full-time student.
please, god. please let me get into statistics.
if i go on an exchange this summer, though, it will give me six credits. which is good.
anyway, i found another corvallis girl here. er, laura is her name, i think. she said there were a few more besides erin and i, but myrica transferred, so...who knows?
have you met dirk calloway?
that is NOT his name...though his voice sounds exactly like that. fuck.
maybe i could get into global deviation. and my advisor, greymorning, teaches it. hmmm. the elusive greymorning. i have yet to meet him. apparently, he is constantly unavailable. i picture him to look like professor lupin. heheh. or mr. sherwin.
bye.
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[28 Aug 2005|06:11pm] |
being out of state is sad but nice.
i miss my family but having erin makes me feel sort of grounded.
montana is strange; there are a lot of cowboys and preppy/frat-ish people that hit on me, call me a "freak", tell erin and i that we have "pretty asses", etc. but, honestly, they don't really bother me. i thought they would, but they don't, except when a group of cowboys was branding metal rods and yelling at random people in some sort of conservative protest yesterday. it was interesting, though. you just don't see that kind of thing in corvallis or portland. i really do like it here. missoula feels comfy and homey, almost like corvallis. it's freezing (which i love) in the mornings and evenings and the mountains and rivers are beautiful. it's so cozy to sit in these warm, dimly lit coffee shops when it's cold outside and look out at the mountains. even more amazing are the mountains at glacier np, a few hours away. i went there on friday and it actually is about as beautiful as my vision of heaven.
and there are lots of bears here.
our dorm is really nice, too. erin and i decorated it so it reminds us of home and all our friends. and we have a coffee maker and a teapot and a fridge and a water boiler.
my classes are awesome. i tested into the fourth level of spanish, i have a cultural anthropology class (flipping through the book, i came across a chapter on rastafarians which included an explanation on the origins of dreads), a physical anthropology class, and an honors college class (??? i don't know what the fuck it's about). plus, i have to take a statistics class for anthro, but that's all the math i'll need. i may have jazz band, depending on whether i make it in at tryouts. also, we have to read this book called "The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven" (how do you do underlines or italics on this?) by Sherman Alexie. i really like it. next semester, i'll be taking a writing class, an arapajo class, a linguistic anthropology class, and a "ways of knowing" honors class. plus more of whatever.
erin and i have met a few cool people. they are rare but that just makes them seem cooler. and i'm not that social so i don't need a ton of people to befriend. just a few. one such person was an extremely nice, good-looking young hippie anthro-major man who already knew my name prior to our meeting because he eaves-dropped on a conversation i was having. does that mean he admires me? (hooray!, i think)
and erin has some marching band friends, including a ditzy but nice and friendly girl and a boy who looks like tom cruise and (generally) likes good music. i think erin hearts him but i'm not sure.
so, anyway, i love you all, and goodbye!
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[12 Aug 2005|05:05pm] |
i am coming to corvallis on monday and i will drag erin along with me whether or not she wants to go. this is because nicole can take monday off work (thank you nicole. i love you.). erin, however, has been pretty sick but today she was better and by monday she will probably be well enough for the trip. so. you guys need to come SEE us. last time, we went to corvallis and sat around at the beanery for hours waiting to be called. expect us to be at the beanery for most of the day, but CALL US in case we're not. we'll proabably be arriving mid-morning and leaving in the early evening. so if you EVER want to see us again (this is our last trip to corvallis before we leave for college) make a little time for us on monday.
love, kindra
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[12 Aug 2005|11:22am] |
Choose five people you know (including yourself) and name the movie character that most reminds you of them.
me- amelie from amelie
nora- max fisher from rushmore
erin- rebecca from ghost world
fuck. now it's hard.
ohhhh yess
eva scott- chaz tenenbaum from the royal tenenbaums
arielle- clementine from eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
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[11 Aug 2005|09:11pm] |
hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
i quit my fucking job, bitches!
that's right. and only hours after giving a faulty phone number to a construction worker.
I AM A BAD HUMAN BEING.
I HAVE NO SOUL.
but, really. i was afraid. and my job just sucks. i'm leaving in a week anyway. and my job was full-time. so now i'll have time to pack/ have fun.
FUCK YEAH
plus, today i was at powell's and i saw the, eh, most attractive young man ever looking at my FAVORITE BOOK (the gospel according to jesus christ by saramago--it's an amazing sacreligious/ religious novel) and he smiled at me and later travelled across the store to stand right next to me for about 5 minutes and study a copy of "chicken soup for the mother and daughter"
why the hell should i care?
i am silly.
my mother likes to call me a "fart" endearingly.
truly. i. am. a. fart.
RUSHMORE! party tomorrow.
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